THE TOPIC OF THIS CONTEST WAS:
It was a cozy neighborhood where everybody knew everyone else and there was never a shortage of people to help when one was in need. There was also a lot of tomfoolery going on, which he and his wife had always enjoyed, until now. The winter snowman practical jokes had been funny over the years but, this time, their neighbor had taken it way too far…
(Stories need only touch on this topic in some way to qualify.)
Before you continue reading, take a moment to consider where you would take that story…
When the familiar Santa bucket was brought out, Tom Lange looked at his wife. “Hey guys,” he started. “We’re not going to be able to participate this year.”
The chatter stopped as everyone turned to Tom and Betty. “Why not?” Ralph, his neighbor, challenged.
“Randy said the coach told him he’s starting, so we want to see him play in the bowl game. We have tickets. In fact, we have to go. We have an early flight.”
“Yeah–sure.” Then Ralph laughed as the mood changed and the neighbors circled around the couple.
After hugs and congratulations, the couple departed.
Ralph turned around. “Ok. Who was our lucky winner last year? He gets to pick.”
Carole, another neighbor, chuckled. “You mean unlucky.”
“Unlucky,” Al responded. “You got that right. Gimme that bucket. Let me pick this year’s winner”
“Well?” Ralph asked.
Al just grinned, turning the paper around.
# # #
A severe snow storm settled over the eastern states, dropping 14 inches of heavy, wet snow. All transportation was brought to a halt. Flights were cancelled. Stores and schools were closed. People were requested to stay inside. Kids were happy for snow days. Parents were happy to work from home. Ralph and the neighbors were overjoyed for the snow.
It took five days for the front to move and life to return to normal.
The Lange’s were finally able to get their return flight home.
As they left the airport, Betty called Ralph. His wife answered.
“Hi, Betty. It’s Sue. Still in Arizona? Oh, you’re leaving the airport? Hold on. Here’s Ralph. Let me put you on speakerphone.”
“Hey, Tom. We watched the game. Randy played great. You must be proud.”
“We are. Heard about the snowstorm. How are conditions there?”
“Still piles of snow. Power was out for days. Then that SWAT situation–“
“SWAT situation?” Betty blurted out. “Where?”
“Here. Didn’t you see anything on the news?”
“No.”
“There were news trucks and reporters all over the place. Between them, the FBI, the police and the coroner…it was crazy.”
“Ralph, start at the beginning. What happened?”
“The day after you left, there was a prison break in West Virginia. Three convicted murderers overpowered the guards, stole a delivery truck and headed north.”
“Were they caught?”
“Eventually after the shootout. Tom, are you sure you didn’t see any of this on the news?”
“No Ralph. Anyone hurt?”
“Yeah. There was a fatality. Shot at the scene. An innocent bystander. Lot of people involved. Lot of guns. Things shot up pretty bad.”
“Oh my God. That’s terrible,” Betty said.
“Tell you what. Why not stop over here to eat? Then I’ll get the neighbors and we’ll help dig out your driveway.”
“Why is my driveway blocked?”
“That’s where the snowplows pushed the snow for the SWAT trucks to pull in.”
“Are you saying this SWAT situation happened on our street?”
“Yes. Didn’t I say that?”
“No, Ralph. You didn’t.”
“Look buddy, don’t get huffy here. I’m just trying to fill you in. Listen, how soon do you think you’ll be here? I’ll order some pizza.”
“We’ll be there within the hour.”
“Okay, Tom. See you and Betty soon. Ralph ended the call, unable to hold back the laughter any longer. He and Sue were doubled over.
Tom made it home in 35 minutes–a record by any standard. When he turned onto his road, the first thing he saw was a police car. Ralph was outside talking to the officer. Tom parked in front of Ralph’s driveway after seeing the mountain of snow blocking his. He and Betty joined them.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lange? I’m Captain Irving. Is that your house?” he gestured as they walked toward it.
“Yes,” Tom replied.
“Sorry about the mess. The crime scene investigators left a few hours ago. In fact, the body’s still here. The coroner was called out on another emergency, but said the ground was cold enough that it could stay until he returned. He looked at Betty. “Ma’am, you might want to wait with your neighbors.”
Betty nodded silently seeing the whole neighborhood gathering around.
The hedges blocking his view, Tom waited until the officer cut the yellow “Crime Scene–Do Not Enter” tape blocking the walkway trellis. Tom stopped–unable to grasp the total chaos in his yard.
There were patches of blood red in the white snow. Yard decorations were scattered about. Windows were boarded up. There were balls of snow in various sizes strewn around his normally immaculate yard along with sticks and coal and carrots.
Tom looked up. “Are we allowed inside?”
The policeman nodded. “Yes.”
A bright blue tarp draped over his driveway caught Tom’s eye. “What’s that?”
“Oh, the body the coroner has to pick up,” the policeman replied.
Tom walked over, looked at it, then back at the policeman.
“May I?”
Irving shrugged. “If you have the guts for it.”
Tom reached down and slowly pulled the tarp away. Then he doubled over and appeared to be convulsing. In reality he was laughing.
Under the tarp was his ten-foot now deflated snowman with an apparent fatal ‘gunshot’ wound in his upper chest.
When he stood up, he turned around to see all his neighbors standing in his yard laughing.
Tom shook his head, “Touché. You outdid yourselves.”
